Thursday 37 (Week 36)

 

1. Being the kind of exhausted that only comes after really, really good stuff.
2. Celebrating 40 years of Melanie. I think it should have been a national holiday.
3. Houghtaling cross-examination. No ego-stroking necessary.
4. Finally being able to talk about the plans made for Melanie's birthday party.
5. Johnpaul (in his British accent): "Blah, blah, blah... Melanie... surprise...blah, blah, blah... I'll tell her I need to stop for a pint, which is my answer to everything."
6. Eva Kay insisting on making 30 goody bags for a 40 year old's birthday party. Guess how many we came home with?
7. I bowled a strike!
8. My mom: "I am not listening to my daughter. She is intoxicated. I am holding you personally responsible for making sure she gets home tonight. I do not want to wake up in the morning to find I'm the only adult here with four children..."
9. Karaoke. Why is there not more karaoke in the world?
10. Ordinary White Wine.
11. A very lazy Sunday, even though I should have gotten so much more done.
12. Beth and me freaking out over not having the recipe for the seafood crepe, followed by Beth sending me alternate recipes, followed by me remembering that the recipe is in the crepe cookbook. Phew.
13. Knowing that most parents wonder why kids get so many days off of school. Trust me, we want more school.
14. Signing the kids up for camp. Sleep. Away. Camp.
15. Even when you don't know where you're going it helps to know you aren't alone.
16. The realization on Monday afternoon that 23 people will be arriving at my house on Tuesday and I'm making all the food.
17. Making pancakes until 2 o'clock in the morning.
18. This text from Beth: "That's why I'll never move to the suburbs."
19. Sandy coming over early on Tuesday to help. The Lewis children were so very well behaved.
20. Me, to Maggie the babysitter: "So, there are going to be 11 children here tonight that you're in charge of, okay?"
21. Maggie totally handled it. Way better than I would have.
22. Being surrounded by people I love on Pancake Tuesday.
23. Every year I say I'm going to have pancake races, but I never do.
24. Kelly, after spilling salad on Eva Kay's head: "But I have a present for you."
25. Chris: "Does she have a liver?"
26. Jen promising to make a cake for Eva Kay for her birthday. Don't worry, she told us she wouldn't forget because we would clearly be sending her an email reminder.
27. Eggs from the Rossi chickens.
28. It really is nice being told that the food was delicious. I'm sure nobody would have told me otherwise, so I'll pretend they were all being truthful.
29. Chris: "Soooo. The boy?"
30. It has been a long time since Jen and I have had a late night conversation.
31. Contemplating this: Virgin Harvest.
32. This email from Beth: "Jackie, I had so much fun last night!  I've decided that you need to have another party, on a weekend perhaps, so that I can spend more time with the fabulous group of friends you had last night... I didn't want to leave! :)  And I am tired, but nothing compared to the horridly cranky exhaustion of the kids!  God help their teachers."
33. My kids were barely cranky the next morning, despite Eva Kay staying up until midnight. So what if I bribed them with donuts...
34. Not really being able to put my finger on it, whatever it is, it is there, and at least I know it is there.
35. Still waiting. Still remaining positive. Still working on my patience. Very sneaky of the Jesuit university to force me to work on that virtue.
36. Sunshine in February.
37. God's Highway

So, there you go.

Thursday 37 (Week 35)

 

1. Realizing that if I let the kids sleep until 7:30, it reduces the amount of awake time they have to a mere 17 minutes before we need to leave for school, thereby reducing my amount of stress in the mornings to a mere 17 minutes.
2. This email from Jen: "read your blog.  I just had this convo w lucca about why being a boy is not better than being a girl.  1.  Testicles all hangy and sweaty and in the way.  2.  Waaay too easy to zip weiner in zipper  3.  Boys can't have babies, which is one of our greatest joys in life.  Even if we marry girls and adopt babies we still have the option."
3. This text from Beth: "And ps, creatures doesn't sound bad to me at all! :-)"
4. Reservations made for Sunday instead of Saturday.
5. This text from my mom: "Breaker 19. The Breezy Beaver is done and made it home."
6. RSVP's for Pancake Tuesday.
7. This line: "If I'm not here, then you're not here."
8. Finding the time to knit.
9. The way the water moves when it is somewhere between frozen and not. 
10. 12.5 very  icy, snowy, painful miles on Sunday.
11. Eva Kay, kissing her hand and then putting them on my lips as she says, "from me to you to help you calm down."
12. This text from David: "Yes. I'm going to break all you computers and your phone!"
13. A clean car, if only for a minute.
14. George: "I'll miss you."
15. Eva Kay: "We don't need any more boys around here."
16. There are no comparisons.
17. Hesser: Thanks. I knew you'd understand.
18. Having Beth and Melanie talk me down.
19. Support comes in the most unexpected places.
20. Dude from Korn: "That is going to look great on you."
21. Beth: "The one thing I remember about the Quality Inn is that my mom always said the sheets were horrible. So horrible you could read a book through them."
22. Valentine's Day is for murder trials in Woodstock.
23. Guitar serenades during dinner.
24. Having television again only to find out that in the 14 months since I last had it they canceled all the good shows.
25. George saving the heart part of his Valentine's Day cookie, just for me. I'm not sure how I got so lucky.
26. The moment when a sock starts to look like a sock.
27. Me, sending a message.
28. Seeing the bigger meaning of what is happening.
29. July 1, 2010. 
30. Knowing that if I think something is melodramatic, it is waaaaaaaaaay over the top.
31. Being able to take a step back.
32. Wait listed is not not accepted (I keep telling myself this).
33. Thank you, Susan for being shocked that I was wait listed. It means a lot coming from you.
34. This text from Melanie: "But - like northwestern - I will be ready to trash talk u of c if they don't let you in."
35. For being reminded that I'm not where I want to be, but where I want to be is there.
36. This: "Its all about learning to balance being a badass with being a lady."
37. For all the struggles I never want my daughter to go through but will: Fuckin' Perfect.

So, there you go.

Thursday 37 (Week 34)

1. Alexander: "Mom, today lunch was horrible. All I had was a tortilla, hot sauce, an orange and some really gross meat that tasted like animal scat."
2. The Girl: "You have three kids? But you're so skinny." Ummm, hello?? I LOVE YOU!
3. Rebecca, thank you so much for bringing George home from pottery. It helps more than you know.
4. Reading Day at Our Lady of Mount Carmel. What exactly it is I can't say, but I know it allows my kids to wear sweatpants to school.
5. Alexander: "Eva Kay. Eva Kay! EVA KAY! How do you spell your name?"
6. Eva Kay: "Mom, I found the REAL Tooth Fairy!"
7. My mom and her many, many messages as she was stranded on I-55. Thank God she's got a sense of humor.
8. George: "I did not come home from school just so you could tell me to do the dishes."
9. Heated bathroom floors at Julie's house.
10. Reassuring conversations with Tracy.
11. Bacon wrapped dates and numerous other sexy foods.
12. "Dammit Yaz. Stop making me drinks."
13. Seeing Julie resting on the sofa.  It just made me feel a little bit better to know someone else needed an extra dose of downtime.
14. Ten miles when I only wanted to do eight.
15. Super Bowl Sunday. Imagine how much better it was than last year.
16. A conversation from a year ago -- Beth: "Don't you think you're the type of person who can just go out and run a half marathon any time you want?"
17. Realizing that the above statement is true.
18. In a fit of insanity, I've registered for the Chicago Marathon.
19. Melanie and Johnpaul have registered for the Marathon also!
20. I have the best training partner.
21. A fourteen month television hiatus has ended.
22. This in an email from Pryia: "one thing though-- you are a catch-- plain and simple--"
23. Knowing the following statement to be true: "Sometimes you have to step outside of yourself to figure out where you are."
24. The sound of children giggling while showering.
25. Me: "George, how was pottery?" George: "Great. I made the best bowls and plates I've ever made."
26. Melanie: "Really, you should just realize that you need to be Stephen's nanny and stop worrying about going back to school."
27. Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiting for grad school acceptance letters. It is killing me, but note my optimism.
28. Celebrating Beth's trip to Puerto Vallarta.  No one deserves it more.
29. Hello Cancun! 
30. Skipping knitting to be with the kids.
31. Sometimes Eva Kay and I are on the same page. Sometimes.
32. Seeing Mrs. Toomey at the grocery store. Turns out, the littlest things really can make a difference.
33. Osso Bucco. Even though it was a little dry, I believe it is the perfect meal.
34. Eva Kay: "But why is it better to be a girl? Why? Because I can't think of any reasons why it is better to be a girl than a boy."
35. George, upon learning he has athletes foot, "Does this mean I don't have to go to gym?"
36. Trying to figure out my value.
37. No Woman No Cry.

So, there you go.

Thursday 37 (Week 33)

 

1. Quiet time to knit on the bus ride to Indiana Dunes.
2. Knowing Alexander and Eva Kay were in perfect, capable, willing hands.
3. A text from Mark, at 2:00, when he finally made the connection that since I was chaperoning George's trip, I would not also be able to pick up the other two: "Are you chaperoning? If so, who is picking up za and vivi?"
4. An OLMCA dad "volunteering" to bring Starbucks to all of us spoiled city-moms.
5. An amazing adventure with George at Indiana Dunes.
6. Enjoying the outdoors. Even if for just a small hike or two.
7. George, as he hiked into darkness during his solo hike: "Where are you?"
8. Seeing George outside. He's meant to be there and I know someday, he's going far, far away from me.
9. Finishing the Oklahoma Socks. Phew.
10. A near five mile run. I have the most motivating running partner.
11. Dinner at Branch 37.
12. Anne's 'Blue' at Dispatch Gallery.
13. Potsticker eat off results are in: G=25, D=36. Gross either way.
14. Finishing the book for Book Club. I'm so happy to have been able to added more than silent nods.
15. Eva Kay's Monday morning. She was just perfect. Which doesn't happen often.
16. As the previous two weeks, I am so thankful my children are healthy and here.
17. Five minute naps.
18. Running in Chicago. In January. In shorts.
19. Being inspired by Beth's landlady stories. Although I am thankful I didn't have to deal with what she did.
20. Alexander not letting go.
21. Soreness from working out.
22. The patience to help Alexander with his homework, despite tears, tantrums and, whining. What can I say, sometimes I am a good mother.
23. Amy: "Sometimes we get pretty rowdy. I blame the alcohol and Jackie."
24. Angela: "Okay Jackie, lift up your pants."
25. The "knitting difficult" end of the table.
26. Disneyworld Doctors, with their four fingers.
27. Melanie: "Hi, we need a doctor and we'd like for it to not be Mickey."
28. 6:00 AM running on the Lakefront.
29. Alexander: "Darn it. I wish I had woken up before seven!"
30. Eva Kay walking over to me to pry my eyes open.
31. George giving me the most amazing hug. Totally out of the blue.
32. Simple things.
33. Getting rid of things from the boys' bedroom. They haven't noticed yet...
34. Eva Kay losing another tooth. She's so excited for the tooth fairy.
35. Alexander: "I had a three quarters bad day. The only good part of it was that I was on the news."

    2/2: Fog Inland, Sun by the Lake: MyFoxCHICAGO.com

36. Looking forward to Texas.
37. Going to California.

So, there you go.

Fit Me

The socks are done. The Oklahoma Socks are done!

I even wore them last night. In public. And took my shoes off.  They felt divine.

True, I needed to weave in the ends. True, they are a little long in the foot. And true, they are far from perfect.

But by God, they were worth every single second. I think.  At the time it was painful and difficult and challenging and I questioned my sanity.  When I was in the thick of it,  I was pretty sure I'd never do that again. But, how quickly it fades and all I'm left with is the glorious feeling of these socks cradling my feet ever so lovingly.  All the messy stuff is quite fuzzy and it certainly couldn't have been as bad as I made it out to seem. 

I spent six months of my life working on these socks, toe-up, two-at-a-time. Six months.

A lot can happen in six months.

These socks have seen my world change.  When I wanted to make a call I shouldn't have, I picked up my needles and knit.  When I couldn't sleep, when I wanted to cry and when I was crying, I knit. Through laughter, sadness and joy, I knit.  In the solitude of the morning and when surrounded by dear friends, I knit.  These socks experienced my world and saved me from it.

They're far from perfect. But they fit me.